What The Kardashian Curse Will Mean For Ben Simmons’ Career

Ben Simmons is dating Kendall Jenner, according to Page Six, and we have some thoughts.

In the spirit of wild speculation, let’s break down what the famed Kardashian Curse could mean for Ben Simmons’ career.

Earlier this year, Basketball Forever’s formal investigation into the curse revealed at least six NBA players had been hit hard by the previously under-researched phenomenon.

An exhaustive amount of bro science and shoddy mathematics estimated those six men had lost a total of $152 million over their careers.

Former Timberwolf Rashad McCants claimed dating a member of America’s most famous family cost him up to $70 million, while Kris Humphries and Chandler Parsons took estimated hits of $27 million and $25 million respectively.

The damages averaged out to $25.3 million per player, and that’s money Simmons can’t afford to lose.

Well, he absolutely can afford to lose it.

But there’s more to this than money.

There’s also the statistical drop-off associated with the curse.

Check out just a few of the most severe Kardashian-inspired nosedives:

Tristan Thompson

Pre-Kardashian – 11.7 points, 9.4 rebounds

Post-Kardashian – 5.8 points, 6.6 rebounds

Lamar Odom

Pre-Kardashian – 14.4 points, 8.7 rebounds, 3 assists

Post-Kardashian – 6.6 points, 4.2 rebounds, 1.7 assists

Chandler Parsons

Pre-Kardashian – 16.6 points and 5.3 rebounds, 4 assists

Post-Kardashian – 8 points and 2.5 rebounds, 1.9 assists

Kris Humphries

Pre-Kardashian – 13.8 points and 11 rebounds

Post-Kardashian – 5.8 points and 5.6 rebounds

Overall, Kardashian-entangled players experienced a:

  • 51 percent decrease in points
  • 47 percent decrease in rebounds
  • 55 percent decrease in assists

Apply the same hit to Simmons and his stellar 16 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists drops to 7 points, 4 rebounds and 3 assists.

Don’t do it, Ben.

You have your whole career ahead of you.

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